Kyoya on the Couch
by The Pen of Insanity
Summary: Kyoya Ootori is normal. At least that's what he'd thought until his nosy older brother signed him up for therapy with a psychologist. As Kyoya tries to outwit and frustrate his psychologist, he may be spilling more than bargained for. Rating may change in later chapters.
1. Prologue

_**KYOYA ON THE COUCH**_

_{Ah what lovely inspiration can be pulled from "Hey Arnold"…If you've never seen the show Hey Arnold, this fanfiction's title is affectionate parody of "Helga on the Couch" aaaand some of the inspiration was pulled from it too. I don't really have much of a description for it other than it's a narrative that takes place during Kyoya's session with a psychologist._

_The fanfiction won't stick by a specific genre; as stated before it's pretty much going to be everything: lighthearted, sad, fluffy, funny, and dark at certain parts._

_No excuse for the fic, just that I've been wanting to write this fanfiction for a while and I've reeeeeeaaally been looking for a chance to write from Kyoya's mind. It's just that I had no idea how to carry it out in a manner that was both humorous and heartbreaking._

_Of course,for now I'm just going to take a chance and post the prologue until I get more chapters down….I think if you guys like it then I'll probably post more. So, please enjoy "Kyoya on the Couch".}_

"Hello, Mr. Ootori."

"Good day."

"I'm guessing you're here for your appointment?"

"Well, I certainly wouldn't be in here for anything else."

"Oh my, you're a funny one, aren't you? Why don't you sit down?"

"No thank you, I'd rather stand."

"All right then, you can stand."

She had a bothersome chime about-she always seemed to have a good-nurtured laugh punctuating each fine sentence. Ugh. She already seemed like a bother and he hadn't even talked to the woman. Why was it even _necessary _for him to visit a psychologist? Perhaps if his nosy older brother didn't find it necessary to intervene in his life every chance he got, he wouldn't be in this predicament.

_ "It's alright, she doesn't need to know anything. Just go in there, tell her what she'd like to hear and leave."_

Lie and leave. Now, this task would have been daunting for one of another surname. Fortunately though, Kyoya was an _Ootori_. Now this wasn't just a high name or the largest medical provider in the field, no, they were also notorious for their certain unnoticeable ability. Ootoris did _not _talk like other families. Ootoris swept everything under the rug and did not discuss _anything_. Therefore nobody else knew the secrets of the Ootoris but the _Ootoris_. It was something quite coveted in the family, and Kyoya had absolutely no intention of spoiling it…Not _even _for a psychologist.

"Kyoya? Are you ready?"

"Indeed," Kyoya simply simpered "Let the interrogation begin…."


	2. Chapter 2-Cat and Mouse

_{I apologize that I haven't updated this story lately, I've been extremely busy as of late and haven't had time for much of anything lately. So as an offering for my abscence I offer you this shorty chapter for the time being (at least I can finally finish the next full chapter). }_

"I'm sure your brother has already made you quite aware of who I am," The young woman stood, giving a small chuckle before extending a hand to Kyoya "I've spoken quite a bit with him before our appointment and it seems like he discussed just about everything with you. But just in case, Rina Yoshida."

_ Warm smile, extended hand, but a bit of a false pretense. She's making an attempt to seem warm-friendly-as most psychologists would prefer to put it. Obviously trying to create a welcoming environment-one that patients would feel comfortable in. I've heard of this ploy...Psychologists employ it to 'trick' their patients into feeling less like a lab rat in a maze. Such a cheap practice to use. How amusing._

"Mrs. Yoshida. Nice to meet you."

Kyoya reluctantly outstretched his arm, keeping his pretense calm and professional and collected. Of course, he'd had experience in situations like this before but that didn't make him immune to slip-ups. Any sort of mistake could crack his facade and unless a fury of emotion. Despite whatever fiery agitation stirred in the pit of his stomach it was his job to play it cool.

An Ootori always did.

"So Mr. Ootori, how is your day so far?"

_ A typical question. Obviously she doesn't know who she's dealing with._

"Fine."

"Anything you'd like to talk about?"

"Not really, no."

"Are you sure? There's nothing new happening at school?"

The irritated huff was probably most most notable thing out of the entire session. Careful to dispel any sort of familiarity, Kyoya chose to browse the bookshelf rather than sit on the lounge. Laying on the couch would only be a subtle sign of cooperation, and while Kyoya wanted to be cordial, he refused to break. Picking up a thin teen novel Kyoya finally responded "I do not mean to be rude in any way but I assure you that the Ootori children are the _picture _of fine mental health, Mrs. Yoshida. Despite whatever my brother had told you, I adhere closely to my opinon that I am mentally sound."

The woman didn't looked stunned at all. In fact, she flashed him that playful smile once again before continuing.

"Mr. Ootori, there's nothing to worry about, this is just a routine exam. I'm not here to badger or break you, just to talk. But I respect how you feel so how about we keep it light? Just like a conversation. You talk about you and I'll talk about me. No emotion, nothing deep, lets just talk."

_ No hostility or pressing curiosity in her voice. Calm and even tone, perhaps even flat-indicative of no interest? Perhaps to her I am just another client. Good. Let's keep it that way. _

"Let's do that."

"Alright then, Kyoya."


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay Kyoya, let's lighten things up a little. When I was in high school my friends and I used to play this silly little game. What was it called? Oh, 50 questions. It was an easy way to get to know each other's interests and things like that. Would you like to play it?"

_Ugh. First an interrogation then childish games? They weren't kidding. She really is a __**child **__psychologist. Certainly she should know that I am far too old for these silly games. But then again...it could pass the time. The more games we play the less I have to discuss._

"So Kyoya, the game is up to you. Do you want to start or shall I?"

"You may start if you'd like," Kyoya sighed, settling down on the window sill he'd chosen as a seat.

"Okay...What grade are you in?"

"10th."

"Very good. Your turn."

"It's alright. Why don't you take another?"

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Indeed I do."

Kyoya kept his gaze out the window, resisting the urge to leave the clinic. While his psychologist seemed like a kind woman, the thought of being studied like a lab rat made him uneasy. He had always been someone that enjoyed control and to have that taken away unnerved him.

"Kyoya you're doing excellent, however there is something I've noticed," Mrs. Yoshida chuckled "You keep passing on your turn. It takes 2 to make this game fun...Do you mind if I ask why you're avoiding your turn?"

Kyoya raised an eyebrow, reacting to her curiosity. This time his expression didn't betray the smug nature that it normally did, rather it manifested a dull earnesty matching his explanation.

"It's actually quite simple. I already know quite a bit about you so I don't feel as if I need to obtain any more."

"Oh? Did your brother tell you about me?"

"Yes. That and I make it a point to pay attention to minor details upon meeting people."

"Really? How interesting. Can you share a little bit of what you've picked up?"

"Of course," Kyoya calmly adjusted his glasses before continuing "You are married obviously, seeing that you have a ring on your finger. You have children, judging from the scribbles all over your personal notes. Judging from the office you're in as well as the location I would assume that you're success in clientele in about average. Also seeing your information I'd assume that you are from a middle class to an upper middle class society."

Kyoya lowered his head, grinning darkly. Glancing at Mrs. Yoshida, Kyoya noticed she was still scribbling notes. However Kyoya noticed something different, a small smile-a small smirk-painted across Mrs. Yoshida's lips.

"Did I say something funny?"

"Oh no. You were right about every single one of those except one."

"Oh?" Kyoya lifted his fingers to his chin and tilted his head to his shoulder "And what might that be?"

"Bet'cha didn't know I had 4 siblings did you?"

"4?" The blank stare on Kyoya's face punctuated the awkward tone of his question.

"Yep. 4, all brothers."

"I apologize, I imagine it must have been a trial for you."

Mrs. Yoshida smiled warmly, placing her clipboard on her lap and shifting her focus on Kyoya. "Oh no, not at all. I guess I was lucky, to be raised like that I mean. My brothers and I were all treated equally. We were rather close, in fact. I mean, of course we had our fights but it was never anything to serious...Really no competition."

_No competition, eh? How fortunate her childhood must have been._

"None at all?"

"Not that I can really remember. You sound a bit surprised though."

"Well if it is not too tactless to say," Kyoya replied "I admit that I find that a bit hard to believe. Every family has an underlying sense of resentment towards one another, whether they'd like to admit it or not. Rivalry is something that comes naturally to a family and whether the parents are aware of it or not, they fuel that fire."

"Oh? Well that's an interesting thought," Mrs Yoshida replied gingerly "Was there much competition in your household?"

"Well..."

Kyoya's childhood had been a constant struggle for recognition apart from his brothers. Naturally, Kyoya had the deep-seated admiration that every child had for their older siblings but there was always something else-something much deeper. Their relationship had always been drawn on the fine line separating respect and resentment. It was normal, of course. It was merely the rivalry that had been instilled in them by their father. To the Ootori children it was a game. This game was normalcy.

It was the first day of 1st grade. While most children would dread the certain death that awaited them, Kyoya had anxiously awaited the day for weeks. But Kyoya's excitement wasn't for the new friends he'd make or the familiar faces of the teachers, it was for the certain prize that awaited each of the Ootori boys. Each year his brothers would write papers or notes during school that would earn their place either in the drawer in their father's drawer-or for the particularly articulate ones, on the very top of his desk.

And finally-finally-it was _Kyoya's _turn.

"Father?" Kyoya called, peeking into his father's study as his chubby fingers slid onto the frame of the door "Father?"

"Yes Kyoya?"

"Do you want to see what I did in school today?"

"Yes. Bring it over."

Kyoya could barely contain his excitement. As he scrambled over, his fingers barely gripped the coveted paper. Kyoya waved around a single little note, its sloppy words written in bright blue ink and its edges slightly worn from the constant handling it had seen over the day. The inked letters on the paper had been carefully printed and the middle crinkled from being carefully folded for storing and though the paper was far from perfect, it was a prize to Kyoya. Allowing the corners of his mouth to slide into a pride smile, he carefully slid the paper across Yoshio's desk.

As Kyoya watched Yoshio's eyes rove the paper his stomach sank. His father had never been one for words, his actions were often loud enough. It wasn't long before Yoshio handed the paper back to Kyoya and sighed.

"Is something wrong father?" Kyoya asked, rubbing the the corner of the paper between his thumb and forefinger.

"Mediocrity does not equal excellence, Kyoya. Your brother's work is showcased only because they show effort and an active amount of efficiency. The poor quality of your letter only proved to me that you are not trying your hardest. The next time you bring something to met I expect it to be something of higher quality, do I make myself clear?"

Kyoya lowered his head, his eyes burning from the tears filling them. Despite trying to quell the sensation, he still felt a few rolling down his cheeks and dripping onto his shirt. None of the words mattered to Kyoya-only the fact that his father was not proud of him-the fact that he had disappointed him. Turning on his heels, Kyoya began to walk towards the door, his arm neatly pressed against his face to avoid any more tears from spilling.

"Do I make myself clear?" His father repeated.

"Yes father."

_That was the first time I felt the painful sting of resentment against my brothers._


End file.
